Possibly the best website ever

...good god, I've been stuck on this shit all day.

Textsfromlastnight.com...has got my fucking CRACKING up. Here are a few of my favorites so far. (The numbers in front are area codes)

(847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
(1-847): How was it?
(847): Fantastic, but that's not the point.

(617): I would do horrible things to your vagina.
(978): Prove it.

(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

(440): The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"

(402): I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.

(918): The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.

(281): How do you jack off and text at the same time?
(1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that

(805): she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu

(843): Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.

(714): Letd wlk him
(714): Lrtd walek hime
(714): Lets wlk home,,,ther we go

(913): So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized

(478): So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
(410): Sounds like a really classy character....
(478): He is classy. It was argyle.

(574): I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.

I highly suggest you actually go to the site...it's amaaaazing.
Or fmylife.com

Both are amazing
El fin, its sleepy time.